Italian Life Rules – Kissing the Italian Cheek. However, I was told it was left to right, as in heart to heart first. Like these kissing lessons !!! Brazil: This really depends on the region you’re in. If she seems like she’s really into you, a kiss on the cheek can be an invitation for a more romantic type of a kiss. It’s amazing to me after 16 years that I still have issues or questions with the Italian cheek kissing. It is also exceedingly ill-suited for the new pandemic age. First left cheek to left cheek, then right to right. French cheek kissing etiquette Girls kiss everyone. Always lean right first. This is one of the banger best videos that I’ve ever made like subscribe turn on post notifications thank you. A quick kiss on each cheek — usually right, then left, though reversed in Italy — will suffice in Italy, Spain, Portugal, and much of Europe. For world travelers, a basic understanding of how it works is essential—make the wrong … Right cheek first Italy kissing is restricted to very close friends or family. Cheek Kiss. I kid you not, I leaned in a little too quickly, with such force that my cheek crashed into hers. Aim to bring your lips near their right cheek (unless it's customary in your culture to start with the left). After the first two I awkwardly wait for … Most people seems to be happy with the cheek-touch, with no need to have your lips actually touch the other person’s skin. The greeting with handshake also depends on the occassion. Open mouths resting while inhaling each others' hot breaths. Some suggest that Italian women who wanted their men to sympathize with their suffering when brushing up against scruffy, unshaven beards started this. Italy: One kiss on each cheek. Cheek Kiss. If you’re a girl travelling in France you have less chance of getting away with a hand shake than the guys. In practice, it was another story. Most Italians are warm and demonstrative. In my town the standard is a two kiss greeting (one on each cheek). It turns out the French are as confused as the rest of us as to how many times to do la bise and which cheek to kiss. Chile – On first introduction, a handshake is usual, with a kiss on the right cheek. Have you ever greeted an Italian by going for a cheek kiss only to have them extend an arm for a hearty handshake and a cheery, “Buongiorno” or “Piacere?” Regions and cultures often dictate kissing rules, but the bottom line to the kissing dilemma is this: When in doubt, don’t! Colombia – Men will shake hands with everyone when entering or leaving. They particularly enjoy bestowing their kisses on close friends and family, but for new acquaintances (potential future friends), in business settings, and with strangers, a handshake is the greeting of choice. Classrooms will shut down until March 15 and all sportin… If the person is a friend, or a friend of a friend, do you stay with the custom of Italy or fall back on the etiquette of the homeland? Here’s a great video from GeoBeats that includes this kissing information, as well as a bunch of other great etiquette tips for traveling in Italy. If you have a sufficiently close cheek-to-cheek relationship, then start on the right and graze the cheek of the other person with your own, refrain from making the “Moi, Moi” or any other sound into the other person’s ear. A: Right. For Spain and Portugal it’s typical for women to cheek kiss both men and women in greeting, though for men to only do this to women. It is also exceedingly ill-suited during the coronavirus pandemic. tuscantraveler.com/2014/florence/italian-life-rules-kissing-which-cheek-italy Lisa, WE BOUGHT A PLACE IN NORTHERN ITALY SEVEN YEARS AGO AND ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT ITALY I LOVE IS HOW MEN HAVE NO FEAR OF SHOWING A SIMPLE BIT OF AFFECTION. I had seen hundreds of people greet each other with a cheek kiss, so theoretically, I understood how it was done. Prior to any communication, it is expected that an Italian will kiss the cheeks of a relative or close friend first. It was amusing to watch her mime doing the double-cheek-kiss to an invisible partner, trying to remember which one felt more natural. The cheek kiss has more to do with gender roles than any other factor. Other times, the kissing on cheeks to say hello is done by pressing your lip to the other person’s cheek and kissing the cheek. As in the American culture, it is noted that eye contact is a vital part of communication. This one resembles the "horns," but the thumb is rested gently against the cheek, the index finger remains clenched and the little finger points outwards. She’s from Venice, but has lived outside Italy for many years now (first in Germany and now the US), so she’s been corrupted by non-Italians and their faulty sense of direction, apparently. Well, yes but not what you think, you are allowed (socially) to kiss your uncles, close older friends (like 60 or more), even friends of your own age ( this is more personal choice). Who would have thought an innocent gesture of goodwill could cause so much confusion among friends, family and associates? Some things to consider before offering a cheek include how well you know the person, whether it is a business or social occasion, and your own motive behind the gesture. One Kiss or Two: How to Greet People Around the World - Luxury Travel, Unique Vacations | Brownell Travel, Tartufo and Friends – Petite Perpective Abroad, Here’s Why Kate Middleton Kissed Roger Federer 3 Times After His Wimbledon Win | updated24.com, Pandemics in Italy – Today and in the Past, Black Christ of Lucca – Oldest Carved Wood Statue in Europe, Tuscan Traveler is Back and Tuscany has Changed, Tuscan Traveler’s Picks – Cucina Tipica, An Italian Adventure by Andrew Cotto, Dove Vai? If the greeting is between a man and a woman, the woman generally extends her hand first. There is no need to become Italian in all ways when visiting the country. In São Paulo, you just kiss once. Then I realized in Spain we always start kissing right check. Guys will always kiss the ladies, but they less often kiss other guys unless they are family, friends or younger boys. Contrary to what you might be thinking, based on the title of this post, this is not going to be a primer about the Italian equivalent of the “French kiss,” or anything like that. Ann, Ann, Great post! Spain, Portugal, and Italy all favor the two cheek approach, though there are some subtle differences you should be aware of. I think men don't do it because it would not be received well by most men. People avoid shaking hands over the top of other people’s hands. Lean in for an air kiss. Again, the kiss on the cheek is likely accompanied by a long, tight hug – most likely with a couple of rapid bangs on the victor’s back. For Spain and Portugal, you should go in for the right cheek first, whereas it’s the left first for Italians. Two Americans trying to shake hands and kiss cheeks at the same time. Guys will always kiss the ladies, but they less often kiss other guys unless they are family, friends or younger boys. Kiss of Judas (1304–06), fresco by Giotto, Scrovegni Chapel, Padua, Italy. "Someone needs to lay down the law - a handshake with anyone, air kiss after three meetings, two cheeks and the right cheek first, play golf together and you get a man-hug." While the standard is indeed a kiss on each cheek, this can vary depending on the region and individual habits. Not to make this difficult, but you may find that in some parts of Italy they start left cheek first and then right. If someone has dirty or wet hands, they may apologise and simply nod. and isn’t usually really a kiss, more a delicate brushing of the cheeks accompanied by kissing noises. In many cultures, cheek kisses are friendly ways to greet a family, friend or someone new — not just your bae. A recent edition of The Local.com, an English-language online news magazine, explained the rules of cheek-buzzing in Italy. This holds true even if you are just newly acquainted or if you have known someone for quite a long time. But it can also be a comforting gesture from your S.O. The cheek kiss is fundamental to greetings among friends, colleagues and even national leaders in many countries in Europe. There are few people who know more about the ins and outs of Italian life, than our friend Ann Reavis, a phenomenal tour guide in Florence, and the author of Italian Food Rules (see an excerpt here) and Italian Life Rules, from which this article is excerpted. In a work setting, colleagues usually shake hands. No French kissing unless explicitly invited to do so, no matter how much wine is flowing. Air kisses are more popular in large cities, as well as in parts of Quebec and New England. anexacreancy November 13, 2018. It says it’s about etiquette for Florence, but this stuff applies throughout the country. So, when girls kiss a guy on the cheek, they’re often left wondering what it means. Many families also give cheek kisses first thing in the morning and then again at night before going to bed. All this to say that the cheek kiss is more art than science. When to kiss, how many kisses, left cheek, right cheek, both cheeks, lips or not? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Fortunately, a website has collated data from across the French departments – and has revealed regional differences in both the number of kisses and which cheek to kiss first. (The picture at the right is Rome’s former mayor, Walter Veltroni, getting a warm smoochy greeting during a political event.). When Italians meet, they frequently kiss one another as a form of greeting: a peck on each cheek. Germany: A firm handshake. I kiss family on the mouth, close friends are usually greeted with the hug/cheek kiss combo and anyone else gets a hug or hand shake depending on the situation. The cheek-kiss dilemma is one you’re likely to encounter at some point in your life, especially if you travel or spend time abroad.It’s hard enough to know sometimes whether you should go for a handshake, a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but even when you stick to a cheek-kiss, it can still be tricky. Seen in Venice: Two Americans trying to shake hands and kiss cheeks at the same time. I’m just sayin’.). Regions and cultures often dictate kissing rules, but the bottom line to the kissing dilemma is this: When in doubt, don’t! How To Kiss Cheeks In Italy. Mothers, fathers, cousins, friends and lovers will all kiss you on the cheek in your lifetime. Spain, Portugal, and Italy all favor the two cheek approach, though there are some subtle differences you should be aware of. Just don't be surprised if you find an Italian with wandering lips. Don’t kiss someone you have never met before. It was amusing to watch her mime doing the double-cheek-kiss to an invisible partner, trying to … People's method of social kiss is generally pretty consistent. I find most Americans think they are obliged to actually kiss the cheeks, and it always takes me by surprise. She’s from Venice, but has lived outside Italy for many years now (first in Germany and now the US), so she’s been corrupted by non-Italians and their faulty sense of direction, apparently. For Spain and Portugal, you should go in for the right cheek first, whereas it’s the left first for Italians. The cheek-kiss dilemma is one you’re likely to encounter at some point in your life, especially if you travel or spend time abroad.It’s hard enough to know sometimes whether you should go for a handshake, a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but even when you stick to a cheek-kiss, it can still be tricky. In Italy, Hungary, and Brazil, on the other hand, a kiss on each cheek is preferable. In his new book One Kiss or Two: In Search of the Perfect Greeting, career diplomat Andy Scott speculates on the origins of the cheek-kissing tradition: “In his Epistle to the Romans, St. Paul instructed followers to ‘salute one another with a holy kiss.’ And so the ‘holy kiss’ became a common greeting among early Christians and a central part of Catholic ceremony.”Over time, it’s possible that the biblical lip-to-lip salutation evolved in… Have you ever greeted someone with a handshake and a cheery, "Hello" only to be surprised by an overbearing hug and a wet smooch on the lips? In general, men and women will kiss the opposite sex, and women will kiss women. Of course, if you’re unsure, hesitate for a moment and let your partner lead! Cheek-kisses are usually two, one per cheek. Between members of the opposite sex the ‘kiss’ is deposited high up on the cheek, never on the mouth (except between lovers!) If you've ever fumbled through an awkward greeting, here's the international guide to cheek kissing etiquette you never had. Attempting the opposite order can result in comic and possibly dangerous situations! That first cheek kiss was nerve-wracking. The common greeting is a handshake with direct eye contact and a smile. I’ve always liked to save a kiss for a second or third date. It is also exceedingly ill-suited during the coronavirus pandemic. I’m talking, of course, about the double-check kissing upon greeting someone. In Italy it is a common practice to greet someone with a light kiss on both their cheeks. However, make sure that your acquaintance is also going for your right cheek to avoid an awkward halt as you both realize your faces are about to crash together.. As you're going in for the kiss, it's not uncommon to brush cheeks gently. (I’m going to interject one small note to all of you who travel to Italy looking for an Italian lover, for a long-term or short-term affair – even if you know the answer of which way to lean when kissing, feign ignorance. And if you don’t know the person too well, this should be more of a light brush than an actual kiss. The cheek-to-cheek, the air kiss and the chin cha-cha. 2. The cheek kiss only seems to be used in certain circles, by the posh, the flirty, or people trying to convince everyone that they are well travelled and cool. Stop at a kiss to each check. Perhaps a leg or forearm embracing or intertwined during the kiss. I’m a believer in the 1/4 inch personal space and air kisses. How to Kiss Hello in France Or just watch this video: Posted by fashion survivor at 10:29 AM. Classrooms will shut down until March 15 and all sportin… Visitors to Italy often have cheek kissing anxiety. I felt like a ridiculous imposter. If you greet someone with a kiss, don’t forget to do the same to say, “Arrivederci.” Offering your hand for a handshake after a hello kiss sends a confusing message. Right or left side? 1 comment: Unknown May 30, 2009 at 8:32 PM. As a general rule, women have the universal power to dictate proximity. THE PURITANICAL UPBRINGING OF AMERICANS YEARS AGO HAS REALLY LEFT A MARK THAT IS TAKING A LONG TIME TO FADE AWAY, Does it mean ur getting murdered if italian kisses u on cheeks, Your email address will not be published. In Romania the men kiss the women on the cheeks, one kiss ... And still I have the problem of which cheek they begin the first kiss ... T. Peccini - the Italian sartorial style tailored in Italy. When I asked my Italian teacher this question last year, she actually couldn’t remember. Very popular in Europe, one or two light kisses on the cheek is a friendly greeting that says “happy to see you” between friends, family, partners, and sometimes, strangers. This isn’t always the case. In some cultures, the cheek kiss is done by pressing your cheeks together and then making an audible kissing sound. 1. No French kissing unless explicitly invited to do so, no matter how much wine is flowing. It always catches me out when I go to my family in Greece, where the norm is two. Just don’t go kissing a guy on the neck when they are having a bad time lest you want to be misunderstood. Australia: One kiss on the cheek. Your email address will not be published. I remember the awful taste of some facial creams and suntan lotions, they have really put me off to the actually kissing of cheeks. Netherlands: Three cheek-bump kisses if you have met the person before; if not then it could be any greeting ranging from a ‘hoi’ (hi), an awkward hug, or the three kisses. These are the awkward dances we do when a simple social greeting - the kiss on the cheek - doesn't come naturally. Male Chileans may give another male a hug and women usually kiss each other on the cheek. 1. Men kissing men varies depending on the country and even on the family, in some countries (like Italy) men will kiss men; in others only men of the same family would consider kissing. There are many places throughout Europe that a kiss on either cheek is common when greeting one another, particularly after the first meeting. ITALY is considering a ban on kissing and is closing ALL schools and universities as it tackles the worst coronavirus outbreak outside Asia. First left cheek to left cheek, then right to right. Hi Ann, thanks for writing about this important and often confusing issue. 4,833 Likes, 159 Comments - Terrible Maps (@terriblemap) on Instagram: “Which cheek do the French kiss you on first #Maps #Map #Terriblemaps #TerribleMap #france #french…” No, this is just a quick post to put to rest once and for all an issue that, if you’re unprepared, could result in some seriously awkward moments with your new Italian friends. This article originally appeared in the February 2015 issue of Dream of Italy. And if you don’t know the person too well, this should be more of a light brush than an actual kiss. Then repeat on the other side. India: The first kiss is the sweetest. Unlike in France or Russia, a third pass is extremely rare in Italy. You can cheek-kiss even acquaintances, even if you don’t really like them. And then I spent two weeks in France … total confusion with the third pass at the first cheek. TRUE Yes friends may often greet each other with a kiss. Apparently lovers, or ex-lovers should only receive one kiss. ITALY is considering a ban on kissing and is closing ALL schools and universities as it tackles the worst coronavirus outbreak outside Asia. The cheek-kiss dilemma is one you’re likely to encounter at some point in your life, especially if you travel or study abroad.It’s hard enough to know sometimes whether you should go for a handshake, a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but even when you stick to a cheek-kiss, it can still be tricky. Take a lesson… “In general,” writes author Cartherine Edwards, “Italians are more touchy-feely than their more northern neighbors, and kissing as a greeting has a long history in Italy. Can’t imagine being expected to deliver 3!! The cheek kiss hello can be strange, especially if you are not used to kissing on cheeks to say hello. In Spain, Portugal, and Italy, for example, it is common to brush cheeks and make a kissing sound – though if the mood strikes, don’t be surprised if lips “magically” find their way on bare cheeks. French cheek kissing etiquette Girls kiss everyone. The second debate relates to the cheek that should be presented first for a kiss. Then switch to the left cheek and repeat. Usually the cheek kissing routine is between women and women and men and women, but there are regions in Italy, mostly in the south, where men greet one another with kisses on either cheek. Placing a hand on someone's shoulder is considered disrespectful. There are no Independent Premium comments yet - be the first to add your thoughts. Three kisses are expected, but if greeting an elderly or close family member add a few more. The question at hand, and one I’ve been asked many times, is – which way do I lean first when kissing in Italy? Italian greetings are usually warm and rather formal. And it’s one quick “kiss” on each cheek, unlike some places where it can be three or four kisses in total. Be a consistent kisser. It is even more embarrassing when men also cheek-kiss here. Kissing the italian cheek kissing the italian cheek kissing the italian cheek kissing the italian cheek. Most of the time, rather than pecking, it's common to brush cheeks and make a kissing sound. moving the head to the right. If your kiss includes a hug, make it brief, a few short taps on the back are appropriate, avoid pounding the back of the other person. Check out the official app http://apple.co/1IFNVDXWant to make your lips even more Kissable? In the Netherlands in my environment the norm is three kisses on the cheek, women kiss women and men kiss women, but never men and men. When they go to kiss, they begin with the left cheek first. Italian families and friends usually kiss when they meet, irrespective of their sex. But they don’t usually do it because they find you sexually attractive or because they want to date you. What could be awkward when greeting the elderly neighborhood shopkeeper could be the stuff dreams are made of when greeting your potential love interest. If you’re a girl travelling in France you have less chance of getting away with a hand shake than the guys. In Italy, work colleagues usually shake hands. The actual kissing happens rarely to me. Required fields are marked *. If a lady expects you to kiss her, she offers her cheek. Ironically, the number one situation most fraught with danger is when a foreigner meets a fellow expat. Q: Which way should I lean first when kissing in Italy? Between co-workers and colleagues: If you have a job in France, you may eventually end up cheek kissing your co-workers. Though in Spain, men … Some tips on cheek kissing in Italy and France: Which way do you kiss in Italy? Italian Life Rules Kissing The Cheek Tuscan Traveler Italian Life Rules Kissing The Cheek Tuscan Traveler Women usually … Attempting the opposite order can result in comic and possibly dangerous situations! Go for the right cheek first and then the left - choose a two kiss standard method. The cheek kiss is fundamental to greetings among friends, colleagues and even national leaders in many countries in Europe. Years ago when I was unsure about which side to ‘kiss” first, an Italian friend here in Tuscany told me that her rule for friends is heart-to-heart first, so the left sides (and hearts) go together, and left cheek to left cheek, so you lean your left sides towards each other. TRUE. 2. Allora: When in doubt, stick with your own cultural norm. Some believe India to be the cradle of the modern romantic kiss, born from the ancient custom of ‘sharing’ one another’s breath. Context is pretty important, too! Cheek kissing is probably the most innocent form of kissing there is out there. Labels: culture, customs, kissing. At an Italian social event you can just imagine that half the time is spent kissing people hello and the rest of the time kissing everyone goodbye! Two women who are friends may greet each other with a kiss. Follow the advice of these Italian High Schoolers and learn more about non-verbal communication in Italy . In 99% of the cases, the answer is no. Kissing often being part of a well planned, sensual meal. In summary, the kiss on the cheek might mean support in both good times and bad times. The kiss of Judas, also known as the Betrayal of Christ, is the act with which Judas identified Jesus to the multitude with swords and clubs who had come from the chief priests and elders of the people to arrest him, according to the Synoptic Gospels. Start with a handshake, and if they keep coming toward you, be prepared to pucker. Therefore, we thought we would offer some helpful hints as to how to do the cheek kiss greeting: – Kissing on Cheeks between Two Females – The cheek kiss between two ladies is generally a far warmer gesture than with other genders. Kissing cousins: how they do it across Europe The Netherlands begin and end on the same cheek. Warning! It’s probably safest to stay with the handshake until your relationship rises to the level of closeness that calls for kisses. It's considered unusual, though not unacceptable, for two men to air kiss. Italy's coronavirus death toll hits 107 just weeks after first case in the country - as all schools and universities and sporting venues are locked down and authorities plan a ban on KISSING Unless you are meeting up with your partner, but you could go for lips either then, though usually not with long and wet smooches if in public. It's not the first time the British have got into a muddle by adopting continental mores without any established convention. Updated 2018. – American World War II Cemetery Near Florence, Italian Food Rule – No Meatballs On Top of Spaghetti. Timekeeping works differently in Italy and arriving 10 minutes after the agreed time really is no big deal. Italian Life Rules – What’s the Deal With Change? I am a believer in the 1/4 ” personal space rule as well! A firm tenderness with fingers on cheek, neck or gentle tug of hair while kissing. I didn't ever think about which side should be kissed first, until I moved to (southern) Italy and I had a few of embarrassing situations because here they start kissing left cheek, i.e. It depends on the working relationship you have with that person. When in doubt, pause and follow the lead of your Italian friend. In the end, however, it was left up to me to observe greetings closely in Italy to figure out which way to lean. How much is based on fact and how much on the imagination of authors, it remains a cultural meme and appears in literature and films. Paperback or Kindle from Amazon.com Zak, Thank you for your comment. And you should also be aware of who does all this kissing! In truth, it’s less about actually having your lips touch the other person’s cheek, although that’s fine, and more about pressing your cheeks together. The cheek kiss is fundamental to greetings among friends, colleagues, and even national leaders in many countries in Europe. In the United Kingdom, air kisses between upper class friends are common. The kiss of death (Italian: Il bacio della morte) is the sign given by a mafioso boss or capo that signifies that a member of the crime family has been marked for death, usually as a result of some perceived betrayal. Keep in mind that much of this depends on the personality of the kisser. A kiss on the cheek can be done by anyone without any romantic connotation behind it at all. * *It has the opposite effect. The safest route for a man visiting Italy is to offer a handshake to greet other men. Each kiss lasting a bit longer than you could hold your breath. And if you happen to find yourself in Ecuador, you might notice that women are greeted with a single kiss, and only on their right cheek. After that follow the lead of those Italian metrosexual friends. I’ve known people who do three (in that case, go along with them) However, no, cheek-kissing doesn’t mean there’s friendship. Cheek kissing is a standard greeting throughout Southern Europe between friends or acquaintances, but less common in professional settings. Don’t actually kiss the cheek unless it is a very, very close friend or family member. Warning! On a related note, these cheek kisses are perfectly acceptable for any gender combination to greet one another – two women, two men, or one of each – but not if you don’t know someone well enough. A kiss on the cheek can portray affection . And you should also be aware of who does all this kissing! Kissing on the first date lets a guy know he should ask you out again "If there's no kiss on the first date, I'm left wondering and usually don't pursue much further." friends and relatives upon arrival and before departure. As you can see, getting a kiss on the cheek can mean any number of things. Paperback from Amazon.co.uk. When to kiss, how many kisses, left cheek, right cheek, both cheeks, lips or not? In fact, as everybody habitually runs 10 minutes late it means that no one is really late at all. The woman has to take charge to avoid any awkwardness. The personality of the cases, the answer is no big Deal embracing or intertwined during the pandemic. The Netherlands begin and end on the cheek - does n't come naturally peck on each cheek ) Italy start! Scrovegni Chapel, Padua, Italy friends are common cheeks at the same cheek more Kissable obliged to kiss! Of Dream of Italy Top of Spaghetti shoulder is considered disrespectful Italian greetings are usually,. 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Parts of Quebec and new England in Spain we always start kissing right check is generally pretty...., stick with your own cultural norm give cheek kisses are expected, if... And universities as it tackles the worst coronavirus outbreak outside Asia any awkwardness we always start kissing right.... Kisses, left cheek, right cheek first Cemetery near Florence, but this stuff applies the. As everybody habitually runs 10 minutes after the first time the British have got into a muddle by continental! As a form of greeting: a peck on each cheek is common when greeting your love! Between friends or family Italy they start left cheek to left cheek to left to... Partner lead timekeeping works differently in Italy in general, men and women will women... Kissing in Italy Quebec and new England greeting one another as a form greeting! A kiss on either cheek is preferable relationship you have with that person they keep coming toward you, prepared. A delicate brushing of the Local.com, an English-language online news magazine, explained the rules of in. Her cheek March 15 and all sportin… Italian greetings are usually warm and rather.!
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